A Letter to My Oldest

I have to start off by saying a happy belated birthday to my oldest daughter.  My oldest child actually.  Her birthday was last week, she turned 14.  Fourteen!  I have a 14 year old.  It baffles me still.  And it boggled me when she turned 10, and it stunned me at 5... It goes on.  I never thought about her growing up when she was born, I never thought she would be such a wonderful young women, and I never thought she would be my best friend. 

Don't get me wrong, I do have other "best friends",my mother,  my high school class mates, my random chance/instant connections, and of course, my husband.  But, really, when it comes right down to it, my daughter really gets me.  When I am having a bad day, she has always been able to tell me to smile, and get over it.  With a hug.  When I'm being a bitch, she tells me, and always has.  And, when I have over stepped my parental boundaries, she will let me know.  When we have an argument, we really have an argument.  We yell, and we've slapped each other, and we've done the silent treatment, and then we've cried, and hugged, and moved onto the next thing.  The funny thing is, is that it has always and forever will be that way. 

I believe in an after life and a previous life, and spirits....  I know that her and I have been together many times before.  Maybe not in our exact relationship, maybe as sisters, girlfriends, maybe she was even my mother, but we have been together so long, that we can think each others thoughts, and answer each others questions with out ever asking them. 

As I have mentioned before, I had her so very young.  I don't think we ever really had a traditional mother/daughter relationship.  As a baby I consulted her on everything, what clothes she would wear, what crayons she wanted, what stories she liked, what meals I made, what guys I dated.  I think with how busy life gets being a grown up, we as parents don't always stop to think of what our children prefer or think about.  With Winnie, she was my everything, and I wanted her to know how special she was, so she had input on everything.  I only had her.

I guess, getting back to the purpose of this post, is, with having her, there are so many things I never thought I would do.  I never thought I would get an education, I had to.  I never thought I would fall in love again, I have.  I never thought I would be a good mother, I am, and I have four children now to be a good mother for.  

Winnie may not realize it, but when I talk about mothers being strong, and how women need more support, and how families should work together, and how there are so many ways for mothers to bond with their newborns, and about birthing and breastfeeding and positive postpartums, I do it for her.  I want her to understand how all these things make life valuable.  How all these things can make the future a brighter place, is for her.

Really though, for now, all these things are small, compared to glancing at my daughter, from the corner of my eye, and seeing her help her siblings.  And even smaller, is the quiet times we now get together.  The serious conversations we have watching 1980's Degrassi, and the laughs we share while playing cards. It's all the small things that make it so very good.

Feb 2012
I love you my Angel!!

Share Some Placenta Love

As I was getting ready for bed last night, and checking the Facebook world, I noticed an alarming thing; more and more people are getting their placenta pictures removed.  WTF.  What is so seriously wrong with people that a natural, beautiful part of life, is also now being sensored.  I love placentas!  If you have ever had the chance to hold one, you would be awestruck at the simplistic beauty.  The colours are vibrant, reds and blues.  The stretching of veins and arteries from the cord insertion, sprawling across the organ, as if reaching to grow and inspire and give life.  Who are we to hide that?  The birth of your child will be the most memorable and life altering experience that you will ever take part in, and to me, it only makes sense to be a little humbled by the placenta that kept that child alive.  Many cultures honour and revere the placenta, even being considered the baby's protector.  How, when we try to post one little picture, are we being obscene, vulgar or violent?

But, before I start my point, please stop by and sign this petition to facebook.  This was started by PBi founder, Jodi Selander.
I have to send much love to these beautiful blogs/pages Mrs. BWF, Job Description: Mommy & Earthside Birth Phography.  They are just some of the few that have had pictures deleted &/or been "banned" from facebook.

Now, as I am of a curious nature, I want to play a little game, to see why these pictures are being deleted.  I want to see if we can find the vulgarity in them.

Let's start with this one.  Tell me what is gross about this? 



Wait, maybe I missed something.  Maybe I am blinded by the limbs of love crawling over the surface.  Let's try another picture.

Mmmmmmm, well, maybe the blood could be a little alarming.  Although, I think I've seen more blood from a cat scratch or a pound of raw hamburger.  Ok, and I know I'm a little biased.  I see beauty.  Let's give this shot a go, I mean, there has to be something obscene or else pictures wouldn't be getting deleted, and people wouldn't be getting banned.  Right?

Nope, sorry, I still don't get it.  Oh well.  I don't think I care to get it.  I do care, though, to show support for the people out there who have been "banned" for showing pictures, the people who have had their precious pictures deleted, and for all the mothers, fathers, families & birth professionals who want to promote healthy birthing practices by showing the placenta.

That's my two cents.  Thanks for listening.

Oh, before I forget, I have one more photo to show you.  I think this one will be the kicker, it will definetly be the one to prove that your baby's lifeline is violent.